I realized recently that even though I’m a huge fan of The Beatles (though I wouldn’t mention it in mixed company considering how frothingly angry people get when you listen to one of the most popular bands in history) I actually haven’t listened to all of their music. I had spent a lifetime listening to Singles, A-Sides, and B-Sides but there was a world of album tracks I’d never experienced before.

So I decided during the last few months of 2024 that I was going to listen through every one of their original albums (no re-releases or deluxe editions, what am I, a psycho?) and rate every song, and every album, based entirely on how I felt about them at the time I was listening. No re-do’s, no caveats, no excuses, no nothin’. Raw, real, and uncut like television shows used to say all the time while still being heavily edited to take out swear words.

I based my ratings on a scale of 1 to 10 and made definitive meanings for each rating that I used everywhere in my life – this is a great rubric for M-Class Podcast episode ratings btw – so here’s that:

1 – Shit.  2 – Terrible. 3 – Bad. 4 – Eh…  5 – Mid. 6 – Ok.  7 – Good.  8 – Great.  9 –  Excellent.  10 – Masterpiece.

Here’s the fruits of that effort, as un-edited as the day I typed them into Google Docs – but with pictures for visual interest, I guess:

Please, Please Me (1963)

• I Saw Her Standing There — 5/10  a good middle to start.
• Misery — 7/10
• Anna (Go to Him) — 1/10 wtf is this
• Chains — 5/10
• Boys — 6/10
• Ask Me Why — 4/10
• Please Please Me — 6/10
• Love Me Do — 7/10 (gets stuck in my head a lot)
• P.S. I Love You — 3/10
• Baby It’s You — 3/10
• Do You Want to Know a Secret — 6/10
• A Taste of Honey — 2/10 this sucks
• There’s a Place — 3/10 what’s with the fucking harmonica all the time
• Twist and Shout — 10/10 I fucking love this song

Overall Score: 4/10. I was genuinely surprised by how much I liked the song Misery and how much I disliked so much of the rest of the album besides Love Me Do and all-time-banger Twist & Shout.

With the Beatles (1963)

• It Won’t Be Long — 7/10 neat guitar/ bass riff
• All I’ve Got to Do — 5/10, weird progression, I really dig the faster parts less so the rest 
• All My Loving — 7/10
• Don’t Bother Me — 5/10
• Little Child — 2/10 creepy as hell too
• Til There Was You – 5/10 w/e
• Please Mr. Postman – 9/10 best version of this song imo
• Roll Over Beethoven – 6/10 it’s no Chuck Berry
• Hold Me Tight – 4/10
• You Really Got a Hold On Me – 8/10
• I Wanna Be Your Man – 3/10
• Devil in her Heart – 5/10
• Not a Second Time – 5/10
• Money (That’s What I Want) -7/10

Overall Score: 5/10 – This early Beatles stuff sounds straight out of the 1950’s, which I guess makes sense given that it’s 63 and they’re still mimicking their musical idols like Elvis and Chuck Berry. It works very well sometimes but for the most part it just seems too boring and derivative. It’s hard to believe some people PREFER early Beatles over their amazing later stuff.

A Hard Days Night (1964)

• A Hard Days Night — 7/10
• I Should Have Known Better – 4/10 honestly kind of annoying
• If I Fell – 6/10 very 1950’s Frankie Valli
• I’m Happy Just to Dance With You – 6/10
• And I Love Her – 5/10
• Tell Me Why – 8/10 this one actually sounds different! Wow! I dig it
• Can’t Buy Me Love — 7/10
• Anytime At All – 6/10
• I’ll Cry Instead – 4/10 the turn toward good songs was nice while it lasted
• Things We Said Today – 5/10 bog standard
• When I Get Home – 6/10 some nice rhyme schemes
• You Can’t Do That – 5/10
• I’ll Be Back – 5/10

Overall Score: 5/10 – Genuinely better than the previous two albums as a whole, imo, but they’re still being held back by their adherence to trying to sound like their musical influences and less like themselves. The last albums did have higher highs but this one had a much better middle ground, though if I had to choose one to re-listen to it would be the first for Twist & Shout.

Beatles for Sale (1964)

• No Reply — 6/10
• I’m a Loser — 6/10
• Baby’s in Black — 5/10
• Rock and Roll Music — 5/10
• I’ll Follow the Sun — 8/10 this is like early Beatles writing a late Beatles song. Would’ve been better by the later lads
• Mr. Moonlight — 5/10
• Kansas City/ Hey Hey Hey — 9/10 wow! SUPER good cover work, very up my alley
• Eight Days a Week — 7/10
• Words of Love — 4/10
• Honey Don’t — 4/10 I guess?? what the fuck
• Every Little Thing — 3/10
• I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party — 5/10
• What You’re Doing — 5/10
• Everybody’s Trying to Be My Baby — 6/10 except the guitar break which was 7

Overall Score: 6/10 – Started off pretty middle of the road then got pretty damn good in the middle and then fwoooooosh right down the toilet. I’ll Follow The Sun is a really good one I’ve never heard before, which was the point of this whole exercise

Help! (1965)

• Help! — 7/10
• The Night Before — 4/10
• You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away — 6/10
• I Need You — 5/10
• Another Girl — 4/10
• You’re Going to Lose That Girl — 6/10
• Ticket to Ride – 9/10 love this song
• Act Naturally — 5/10 what is with Ringo and country music anyway 
• It’s Only Love — 5/10 it was short
• You Like Me Too Much — 4/10 kind of annoying 
• Tell Me What You See — 5/10 
• I’ve Just Seen a Face — 4/10 weird mismatch of vocals and music that feels off
• Yesterday — 10/10 maybe it’s lame or cliche but I love this song. Feels like a MUCH later Beatles song
• Dizzy Miss Lizzy — 6/10 the repeated riff is kind of annoying but I dig the song overall 

Overall Score: 6/10 – Man I was tracking a direct uphill curve in quality until all the duds landed on this album. Thankfully Ticket to Ride and Yesterday are there for amazing singles (even if they sound like they should be four albums apart).

Rubber Soul (1965)

• Drive My Car — 8/10
• Norwegian Wood – 9/10 oh so THIS is the album they stop being the “early Beatles” on
• You Won’t See Me — 8/10
• Nowhere Man — 7/10
• Think for Yourself — 5/10 damnit we were on a real roll there
• The Word — 5/10 this is an early 90’s R&B girl group song. En Vogue should be singing this
• Michelle — 4/10 “Eh…” fits this perfectly for me
• What Goes On — 5/10 again with Ringo and the country
• Girl — 7/10 honesty kinda silly but in a dumb fun way
• I’m Looking Through You – 5/10 kind of annoying again but nice vocals
• In My Life – 10/10 it just takes me away, wild harpsichord solo too lol
• Wait — 7/10
• If I Needed Someone — 6/10
• Run For Your Life — 5/10 wow this one is fucked, sure hope it’s a narrative song of some kind but knowing Lennon… it’s mid as a song tho.

Overall Score: 7/10 – This is the record where The Beatles took their first big step into becoming the eclectic weirdos who kill it with every genre they fuck around in that I love. Unfortunately they do not kill it on every track but the high number of bangers makes up for it. Thank god too I was about to throw in the fucking towel for this listen through. 

Revolver (1966)

• Taxman — 5/10 the most terrifying monster known to any millionaire 
• Eleanor Rigby — 10/10 beautiful, but makes me deeply sad
• I’m Only Sleeping — 9/10 my theme song
• Love to You — 4/10
• Here, There, and Everywhere — 9/10
• Yellow Submarine — 8/10, the sound effects are annoying sometimes but I’ve got a soft spot for this song
• She Said She Said — 7/10
• Good Day Sunshine — 8/10
• And Your Bird Can Sing — 9/10 I’d never heard this one before! I love it
• For No One — 8/10 god damn tho
• Doctor Robert — 6/10
• I Want To Tell You — 6/10 really like the chorus
• Got To Get You Into My Life — 9/10
• Tomorrow Never Knows — 7/10

Overall Score: 9/10 – Alright, I completely understand how this is a lot of people’s favorite Beatles album and it’s so highly rated. Absolute bangers, weird experimental stuff, genuinely heart wrenching lyrics here and there, this album is a few dump tracks away from being a no-skip masterpiece.

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)

• Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band — 9/10
• With a Little Help From My Friends — 8/10
• Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds — 7/10
• Getting Better — 9/10
• Fixing a Hole — 8/10
• She’s Leaving Home — 7/10
• Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite! — 7/10
• Within You Without You — 6/10 
• When I’m Sixty Four — 7/10 one of McCartney’s “grandma songs” but my favorite of them
• Lovely Rita — 7/10
• Good Morning Good Morning — 7/10
• Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band – Reprise — 9/10 the extra rock instrumentation is so nice
• A Day in the Life — 10/10

Overall Score: 9/10 – this is in contention for my personal favorite album and has far less boring bloat than Revolver imo but doesn’t maintain the same level of quality overall. A Day in the Life might be the objectively best Beatles song and always makes me feel melancholy and distant in a really good way.

Magical Mystery Tour (1967)

• Magical Mystery Tour — 4/10 repetitive but sorta catchy?
• The Fool on the Hill — 9/10 I’d never heard this either! So damn charming, love the instrumentation
• Flying — 8/10 really chill and strange
• Blue Jay Way — 8/10 threatening, also sounds kinda like a spooky Mario level?
• Your Mother Should Know — 7/10 lol ur mama knows
• I Am The Walrus — 8/10 Goo goo g’joob
• Hello, Goodbye — 8/10 if any Beatles song was ever overplayed it was this one lol
• Strawberry Fields Forever — 10/10
• Penny Lane — 10/10
• Baby, You’re a Rich Man — 5/10 this sounds like an early 80’s soft rock song wtf
• All You Need is Love — 8/10

Overall Score 9/10 – A solid album with some incredible bangers on it with only a couple songs dragging it down a bit. Strawberry Fields Forever and Penny Lane both have this bittersweet nostalgia in them that grips onto you and has you overlay your own nostalgic places overtop of them that’s unparalleled. I can’t choose which is my favorite.

The White Album (1968)

• Back in the U.S.S.R — 8/10 always liked this tune, kind of a throwback tho
• Dear Prudence — 7/10, sounds so much like folk rock of the mid-70’s but in 68
• Glass Onion — 8/10 “remember these other songs we did? Fuck you, then.”
• Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da — 9/10 I know a lot of people hate this song cause it’s so sickeningly sweet, that’s pretty much exactly why I love it
• Wild Honey Pie — 4/10 this sucks but it was short 
• The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill — 7/10 do the Beatles lawyers know Tame Impala lifted this for eight different songs?
• While My Guitar Gently Weeps — 9/10
• Happiness is a Warm Gun — 8/10 this is where ELO lifted their entire steez from 
• Martha My Dear — 7/10 just a lovely little tune
• I’m So Tired — 8/10 great representation of being exhausted by something pissing you off
• Blackbird — 9/10
• Piggies — 6/10 fun but I feel like I’m too removed from the context of this diss track
• Rocky Raccoon — 9/10 damnit alright, you got me Beatles, you fucks, I ended up loving it
• Don’t Pass Me By — 6/10
• Why Don’t We Do It In The Road? — 7/10
• I Will — 8/10
• Julia — 7/10
• Birthday — 7/10 like a really high quality birthday e-card song
• Yer Blues — 8/10 very bluesy, VERY direct
• Mother Nature’s Son — 6/10 really nice musically but feels like filler
• Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey — 7/10 lol
• Sexy Sadie — 7/10
• Helter Skelter — 10/10 if I was Manson I’d name my killing spree after this great song too
• Long Long Long — 8/10 real chill and ethereal
• Revolution 1 — 8/10 I prefer the fucked up version with way too much reverb
• Honey Pie — 6/10 schmaltzy
• Savoy Truffle — 8/10 Night Courts
• Cry Baby Cry — 7/10
• Revolution 9 — this isn’t really a song, so fuck if I know
• Good Night — 7/10

Overall Score: 8/10 – Very consistently good to great with very few less than stellar songs to drag it down, the album is still missing those bunch of absolute bangers that the last few albums had. Still solid but feels bloated overall.

Yellow Submarine (1969)

• Yellow Submarine — 8/10 just like I gave it last time
• Only a Northern Song — 4/10 a little too dissonant for me
• All Together Now — 5/10
• Hey Bulldog — 10/10 one of my favorite Beatles songs, period. Bouncy as all hell
• It’s All Too Much — 9/10 weirdly modern? Really dig it but it’s definitely overlong
• All You Need is Love — 8/10 again, just like last time
• Pepperland — Not by The Beatles apparently
• Sea of Time — same
• Sea of Holes — yep
• Sea of Monsters — you know it
• March of the Meanies — uh-huh
• Pepperland Laid Waste — righto
• Yellow Submarine in Pepperland — they’re all by George Martin

Overall Score: 5/10 – So much repackaged from other albums but the saving grace is for sure Hey Bulldog (a massive favorite of mine) and It’s All Too Much a song I’d never heard before and ended up loving. Overall feels real cash-grabby though.

Abbey Road (1969)

• Come Together – 9/10 massive earworm
• Something – 8/10
• Maxwell’s Silver Hammer – 7/10 it’s a song about a serial killer who uses a hammer, c’mon
• Oh! Darling – 8/10
• Octopus’ Garden – 7/10 it’s a sweet song tbh
• I Want You (She’s So Heavy) – 10/10
• Here Comes The Sun – 9/10 so lovely
• Because – 7/10 weird n fun
• You Never Give Me Your Money – 7/10
• Sun King – 5/10 barely a song
• Mean Mr. Mustard – 6/10 nice beat
• Polythene Pam – 6/10
• She Came In Through The Bathroom Window – 8/10
• Golden Slumbers – 7/10
• Carry That Weight – 7/10 kind of a reprise
• The End – 6/10 (last 15 seconds rules tho)
• Her Majesty – 7/10 just a little ditty

Overall Score: 8/10 – Talk about a fucking front-loaded album, dude. The first half of this album is nothing but banger after banger and some of the best music The Beatles ever made and then it just Peter’s off from Sun King onward. I remember this being a point better and don’t know why.

Let it Be (1970)

• Two of Us – 9/10 that kinda painful nostalgia
• Dig a Pony – 7/10
• Across the Universe – 10/10
• I Me Mine – 8/10
• Dig It – 1/10 what the fuck is this
• Let it Be – 10/10 maybe the most overplayed Beatles song but for really good reason.
• Maggie Mae – 6/10 cute.
• I’ve Got a Feeling – 10/10 one of my favorites
• One After 909 – 8/10 bouncy and bluesy, VERY Blues Brothers a decade early
• The Long and Winding Road – 9/10 wistful
• For You Blue – 7/10 they don’t even sound that into it lol
• Get Back – 8/10 weird that it’s a transphobic song that gets the trans woman’s pronouns correct the whole time lol

Overall Score: 9/10 – Going out with a bang, for sure. Some of the best songs in their entire history mixed with some still-pretty good tunes though the album itself is really short so something like Dig It sticks out like a sore thumb in the middle of all these genre-defining tracks. Seriously what the fuck IS that song?

My final thoughts: I was like 99% certain this exercise was gonna make me lose my interest in The Beatles for at LEAST a little while but it honestly introduced me for a bunch of great new songs by them I’d never heard before and has firmly entrenched me even further as a fan. Shame about the lads themselves and their personal lives and whatnot but they definitely knew how to make some damn good tunes across a bunch of genres.

I’m actually kind of interested in doing this with other bands I’ve always loved but haven’t done the deepest dive into just yet – starting with Talking Heads. That’s for sure gonna be my next little fun side-project like this.

Was this interesting to anyone else? No.

— Jeff